Men Are Selfish and Will Always Choose Themselves

Adaeze Sherleen Ilo
5 min readMay 20, 2021

A reminder not to lose yourself in a relationship

Photo by Jens Lindner on Unsplash

We have made many strides as a society when it comes to feminism, holding men more accountable and reorientation of how both sexes should relate with one another. However, it seems some things are yet to change.

From a candid standpoint, women still bend themselves backward for their partners for the most part. Not only does this pressure come from within us, but it is also encouraged by the wider society.

Women are told that they are responsible for keeping their men. We are told to endure, to do everything possible to make compromises, not be too picky, too demanding, and to persevere against all odds.

Society rewards this behavior — the idea that a real woman is one who is a ride or die, even at the expense of their own happiness. And it’s not just society that does this, it also seems like we as women have a propensity to give our all to the ones we love. We love to nurture and serve. And it’s easy for us to get completely lost in our partners. Sometimes to our own detriment.

1.) Men show up for themselves, women should do too

I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard guys make statements like — “I don’t want to date a woman who doesn’t give me peace of mind” or “ If a woman cheats on me that’s the end of our relationship”, and “If the relationship isn’t working, it’s best to go our separate ways”. And they mean what they say because at the slightest, men zone out, and move on from what doesn’t serve them.

Women on the other hand have the tendency to stay longer in abusive situations, take back a cheating partner, and hold on to a dead relationship. Men are quick to move on. Women hang on for much longer.

Of course, I understand that men and women are different in disposition to a certain extent, but parts of our behaviors are influenced by conditioning. As a research paper points out that though many studies have shown that women are more expressive with their emotions than men, each gender still possesses stereotypical behaviors that have been instilled in them from the wider culture since childhood.

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Adaeze Sherleen Ilo

Adaeze is a social worker in training who recently embraced her writing super powers. Now she writes to make up for lost time.